In the middle of my tantra intensive, all while I am working on over coming inhibitions around my body and sexuality I, along with my friends received an invite to a sex party, which can also be called a play or swingers party.
I knew I had to go. The timing of this was just too perfect.
So myself, along with my three girlfriends signed up.
I was terrified. The first thing I thought about was how the hell I was going to walk around naked and so openly at a play party of 30 people.
I needed to over come and face this and I knew I was going to do it.
So I planned my initial outfit, knee high leggings, black skirt, black crop top and matching black lacy bra and underwear.
As my girlfriends and I arrived to the villa where the party was taking place and my heart began to race and at the same time I felt really ready.
The party organizers first expressed some rules, gave guidance around setting boundaries and expressed the importance of safe sex. We then began some fun games to get everyone warmed up, which included naughty truth and dare. At some point (and rather quickly) everyone was warmed up and the bedrooms began to quickly fill up.
I started off in a bedroom with a couple friends with many people around us. The sexual energy was palpable and it was everywhere.
As the night continued I was looking around this villa and seeing and watching sex and group sex occur everywhere. The bedrooms were full, the lounge chairs by the pool were being used and the living room and kitchen were incredibly busy.
There I was walking around in my underwear not hiding, explaining or justifying anything and having men approach me. I was surprised that no one even asked about the birthmark on my arm and that I was still being approached. Who knew a sex party could be so healing.
I relaxed more and more throughout the night, walking around, talking, flirting and making love.
As I began to get over my own inhibitions I really began to fall in love with the sexual freedom of the entire night. There was no shame. I mean, I was watching many people have sex and they were watching me. And let’s just say the friendship with the three girlfriends went to a whole new level. There was a naturalness about people being naked and having sex so openly and in front of others.
I loved it. I loved the feeling of not being contracted by my inhibitions and shame and being accepted in the process. The five orgasms that night also helped…
This was a very bold choice for me and something I never thought I would do and I am so happy and proud that I did it. And it really did facilitate and shift something in me because I felt expanded and elevated after I left that evening.
So a sex party may not be everyones answer for their evolution but it definitely contributed to mine.