As my immersion I’m Tantra progressed I reached a point where I was to have a one on one session which was conducted in front of the other participants and it lasted for about three hours.
And lucky me, my sessions was the first.
The first question I was asked was “Kerri what do you like about yourself?”. I responded saying that I liked how courageous I was and am, that I’ve had the balls so-to-speak to really go after something more.
As the questioning continued the subject of my body came up. I was then asked to undress in front of everyone, which included eight other participants, three support staff and two teachers.
I got angry. I was asked how I was feeling as I was undressing and my immediate response was ‘degraded!’ and then I said that I hated both of my tantra teachers for asking me to do this. My inner child was having a tantrum.
There I was naked in front of everyone at the very beginning of a three hour therapy session.
From there I was asked to point out what I didn’t like about my body. I pointed out the extra weight I was/am carrying, my stomach, and the birthmark that covers my entire left arm.
The questions continued and I was surprised to see what subjects and people came up. We discussed my step father and his torment towards me as I was growing up and how that impacted me. With everything coming and things being asked of me, and remember all while being naked and then uttered that words “Ugly Animal” as I was asked to describe myself.
I don’t know where that came from.
Then it was time to express myself and these emotions I was feeling and so I stood there in front of everyone and screamed.
Then I stood in front of everyone and made eye contact with them all in my (literal) nakedness. As I got to one of the assistance and made eye contact with her I felt so acknowledged, seen and received that I burst in to tears and she ran up to hold me.
Receiving that level of nurture and comfort in that moment was exactly what I have been wanting and I felt that I really received it and took it all in.
The session then began to take a turn and I was asked to show how I would approach a man with the (very good looking) male assistant. Again, remember I am completely naked.
So I awkwardly began to approach him in front of everyone. I was so nervous. I then kissed him and things began to warm up. We continued to kiss and then found myself with him on top of me, in front of everyone! One of my tantra teachers then invited the other participants to join in and of course my three girlfriends joined in. So there I was laying down receiving, kisses, affection and foreplay from my girlfriends and one very good looking man.
At one point I was laying there this gorgeous man going down on me and three beautiful women caressing, licking an kissing me everywhere, all while everyone else watched.
I don’t know about you but I have never had a therapy session quite like this. Seriously, what a way to overcome inhibitions around your body and sexuality.
As that came to an end, I felt like I had been through so much. It was a true roller coaster.
I remember ending the session saying “best therapy session ever”. I mean… a true personal transformation indeed.
And there I left feeling more open, at ease with and in my body.
Wishing you all the transformation of you dreams and desires (and hopefully some oral sex to top it all off)