I’d thought dealing with uncertainty would get easier, but it doesn’t, not for me anyway. I am still flooded and overwhelmed with anxiety, getting pulled in by and wrapped up in my monkey mind.
I had a perfect plan all set out in regards to my next destination, or at least I thought I did.
My visa for my next destination came back with a different entry date than expected and there was no way to enter the country early or change the date.
I was completely frazzled. I immediately panicked wondering how I was going to work everything out, my Thai visa was set to expire and I became worried around finding a now extra short term contract to fit into my long term plans. I was spiralling, wondering how it was all going to work out and if I could afford to extend my vacation and delay working.
This is where it is good to have women in your life. My mother and a good friend lent me their ear and I found that talking it through seemed to relieve a bit of my stress. Although the plan wasn’t what I had in mind I (eventually) accepted the reality of it.
As I accepted and faced reality, things began to fall in to place. Extending the rental on my bungalow in Thailand was easy, people were happy to move interview times, I noticed that some Canadian friends were visiting Bali around the same time I would need to do a visa run and this extension gave me time to do more tantra and yoga.
So although not ideal and with still facing uncertainty (ie. finding a new home and job) I began to see AGAIN that it’s all working out and even though it looks and feel chaotic it’s just the Universe reorganizing everything perfectly! Plus…Bali for a visa run, who can complain about that?
So It’s not perfect and there is still lots of uncertainty and trust is required but it is all falling into place.